Dedicated to my Dad Maury

Hi, Dad,
     The sun is setting over the ocean right now.  It's just beautiful.  The water is glistening and the sand on the beach looks especially white.  It would be nice and peaceful except you are so darn far away! I need my buddy to talk to and my shoulder to lean on.  I miss that so much, Daddy. I have a hole in my heart now; it's been very slow to heal because I love you so much. I always listened for the carport door to open and to hear your voice talking to Mom.  My heart always felt good when you were around. The house stayed repaired with your handyman quirky tricks, and it was protected and safe with your presence. I remember one afternoon when I was in about the fourth grade, you chased Chuck and me down the street.  I was squealing and laughing both, half-scared out of my wits and knowing you were teasing us, too.  Chuck wasn't any better than I was.  It's scary to be chased, regardless of who's chasing you, huh.
     You taught me how to dance so I wouldn't be a shumck at parties. One night when we were dancing at a friend's house, though, I got a little too smug, and you quietly said to me something along the lines of stop being a show-off.  I was embarrassed.  That you could do well, embarrass me.  But you were right.  I was feeling quite smug as we danced around.
     You were always the one most tuned into me. You were kind to me the vast majority of the time, and you didn't blast me with questions or anger all at once.  No, you would sit with me for awhile and shoot the bull about whatever.  Sometimes we just watched TV, but sometimes we had our really good talks.  You did give me good advice about lots of things even though you knew I wouldn't pay much attention, thinking I knew better.  HA! But this definitely stuck:  I'm a Republican and I don't like unions much...except teachers' unions, of course.
     Spending those times with you was so wonderful.  It was easy to trust you and to believe you could fix anything. You taught me to have FUN and to laugh. But you were also very private.  I never knew what you were FEELING most of the time or what internal battles you were fighting: Inner demons; we all have them. But taking in everything I've known with you, the good far outweighs the not so good, and your love for me, the security I felt with you, has transferred easily to faith and love for God.  He is my Father, too.  Of all you have gifted to me, that has probably been the most valuable, for my faith in a loving, protective Father is what brings me security, love, and courage as I live on now one day at time.  I am so glad YOU are my father.  I love you.  Marni